There’s one thing that keeps coming in to my mind … I need opinions and help!
I’m a massive Daddy’s girl. I always thought I’d have a Father & Daughter dance at my wedding but, talking about this with Ryan, I realised I’ve only ever seen it in films, never at a ‘real’ wedding. Is it a ‘real thing’ or just a cute scene used in films?
In the films, it’s the Bride and her Father on their own, on the dance floor. Ryan outright said that would be boring, everyone stood around watching… as much as I hate to admit it, I can see his point. However, I don’t think if I was at a wedding and there was a Father Daughter dance that I’d be bored – it’s the sort of thing I’d love and cry watching. Logistically thought I don’t know how it works or when and if it is ever done. Now that I’m actually planning our day, thinking about the moments I want to share and memories I want to make, this is important to me but I’m conscious of doing it in a way that doesn’t look self-indulgent, dramatic, attention-seeking and high maintenance!
When I was looking into the whole thing, I found a song that I fell completely in love with, and after watching a few dances on Youtube, as you do on a boring Tuesday afternoon at work, I came across one with that very song – you can watch the video here! My brother said the song is cringey but I love a bit of country and love a bit of cringe even more – I’m such an emotional person, the kind of person that watches a film with the sole intention of crying!
I’ve spoken to a couple of Brides and Bride to be’s about this briefly; one Bride-to-be is adamant she will be having a dance that is specifically a father daughter dance. One Bride made sure that she danced with her Dad separately out of the spotlight. Another Bride found it wasn’t so important as she had her Father Daughter moment walking down the aisle. I don’t really know why I’ve always thought a Father Daughter dance was a given, especially considering I’ve never actually seen one at a wedding, but I do think its a special moment that I’d regret not having in some way.
I’ve done a little bit of research on this and how Wedding Dances traditionally work:
Is it just me or is that a lot to remember? Seems it would require a lot of coordination and i’m not sure it would be worth the additional organisational headache.
The other option would be for the Bride and Groom to have their first dance, this is then followed by a second dance; Bride with her Father, Groom with his Mother and all of the guests too. I know a Bride that did this, and although I wasn’t at her wedding, I was told by others that it worked well. I like this idea but do worry that a whole song where our guests are standing watching us stumble around would be incredibly dull. However, it would mean that Ryan and I get to enjoy our first dance just the two of us… and maybe have a Dirty Dancing style finale 😉 .. a girl can dream, right?
Everyone says ‘it’s your wedding, you can have whatever you want’ – maybe I am just over thinking it and we can actually do whatever we want without judgement – I guess everyone there will know us and will be our closest family and friends. Ryan’s choice would always be to do what most people do as he isn’t big on being the centre of attention – so he’d take a little bit of working on if I wanted to go ahead with option 2.
I’m reading lots of ‘Real Wedding’s’ on the main UK websites, RMW and Love My Dress, and haven’t seen anyone mention it but I’ll keep looking. I guess I have a bit of time to think about it and to research…
Ultimately, as long as I get a nice moment with my Dad and Ryan dances with his Mum, it won’t matter how it happens. I’m sure at the time it will all just happen naturally, be completely perfect and i’ll wonder what all the fuss was over!
p.s I actually had a conversation with my Dad shortly after writing the first draft for this blog post and mentioned to him for the first time that I wanted a Father Daughter dance … he told me thought it was self indulgent and corny haha!!